NaijaMen are from AFRICA -Naijawomen are from Fantasy land

I sat down one evening after a close shave of breakup with my spouse I asked myself, what exactly went wrong? Trying not to be biased and self righteous, I thought of a lot of things and then this flashback………

Back in the days when we were young, did our fathers open the doors for their spouses or did they have to buy chocolate and say sweet nothing to our mothers? Best to my own knowledge, lai lai

So how come they survived several decades together and didn’t think of break-up or even go through a divorce? So what’s happening with the increase of break-ups, 30 days marriages and then they split? Something must be definitely wrong somewhere.

The media has not helped either. We see a lot of programmes, shows, read a lot of romantic novels, romantic movies( I still do) and  we expect our Naija men to practice what we(ladies)have seen on tv,magazines not forgetting that black and white are extreme opposites. See, I am not trying to be a critic here, because I am also a woman, but I have got to learn a lot and adjust in my relationship and this is just a self-reminder also.

I have now thought it fit to address the issue in my own way using this principles:

·       Don’t expect so much from him, he is not Jehovah El shaddai

·       Snap out from your world of fantasy. If he doesn’t do what you see in the movie but he takes care of you very well, develop self worth and start doing those things to yourself.

·       Treat your spouse like a friend: true friends are loyal, sacrificial, humble, respectful, patience

·       Develop the three EXs- experience, expertise and excellence in your relationship

·       Pls don’t forget, please don’t forget(I am repeating  it deliberately) you are an African woman and your true beauty is character not war.

·       For God’s sake, know something about everything

·       Coolu, coolu coolu temper: take it easy, it’s not the way you see thing. Look at the matter in another perspective

·       Abegi, enjoy this life jare, you have got only one of it.

There are not many good spouses out there, if you have got one that loves you sincerely, snap out from your world of fantasy and love him right.

Have a great life.

ashake